changes for marginamia : (

  My favorite dyed egg from Easter was the one that looked like twilight. The egg dying got me crazy to try more, so Monday we dyed a slew of little dresses and dishtowels with turmeric (hooked) and Azalea petals (fail).  The rabbits I made for the girls, Daffodil and Crocus (both boys. pattern here), were named by Nona.  The last photo was taken during a funeral for a bee named... Bee.  You can see the bee in the jar if you look closely.   Nona thanked the bee for "probably" making honey and helping our mother nature so much.  She wanted to put the bee amidst her flower arrangement, where Bee would feel most comfortable.  Then Nona (naturally?) decided the bee would want us to dissect her.  These types of experiences with my family are all light and non-urgent, but important (and even essential), just the same.  None of them have anything obvious to do with today's post, either.   These are just the kind of things I have the time to plan and do on a Saturday with my husband and kids (or in my coveted alone time), when I'm not dealing with crazy emails.  

Wha? If this post seems a bit erratic and rambling (it will), please forgive and bare with me.

I am getting increasingly more emails requesting both public and private consultations. Let me say right up front that I love helping people name their children. I mean, what an honor really.  So it makes me a bit sad that I'm going to be quitting this portion of my services for some time. I can't say that it's permanent, but I think it will be a while before I go back to it. Why? Ugh. 

I've really struggled with whether or not share any details here. It's one thing to value being open with one's experiences (I do), but something else to share the dirty details about someone else's behavior.  It's usually no question for me: with the exception of outing unsavory business practices or cases of giants taking advantage of little guys,  I usually lean on the side of caution and mind my mother's tenet that it's lacking in class and grace to share the dirty details of quarrels and misdealings (sharing them in front of an audience would certainly meet a wagging finger).  In this case, though, I am going to share. I think it's unfair to discontinue something major (consultations) and not tell people why.   I am also balancing any misgivings I might have about doing this by keeping in mind that the person's identity is anonymous, and I'm not sharing the really dirty details.  And who knows, maybe this post will serve as a bit of social pressure for this person, and she'll stop contacting me.

I've had a bad experience. One person, whose consultation I more than completed, has come back too many times using newly constructed identities for herself in order to get more consultation time. She comes up with fake names, new email addresses, and some truly *whopper* accompanying stories - which would be funny if they didn't waste so much of my time - in requesting that I do a consultation for her unborn child. There's no child; she wants a new name for herself and wants more and more and more of my time (and yours) to help her find one that will satisfy her each time she changes her mind about the one she settled on last. (I have nothing against changing one's  name, I just prefer honesty about it and thoughtfulness regarding my time and readership).    She learned my process well enough to know that by the time I call her on it, I'll have provided lists and queries for her to ponder, information on names, etc, so she doesn't care that I'm unable to print the work I've done or taken time from other pursuits to focus on her unending quest. 

Given that I just can't seem to avoid this person coming back over and over, given that people will engage in this sort of stuff at all, I just don't want to do consultations for the time being. If anyone has any suggestions as to how I can sort of request that people prove in some way that they are who they say they are, I'm certainly open to them.  Though, this proof I'm seeking from people might not be possible, and it might certainly be off-putting as a request?   But you guys, my entanglement with this person has been going on for almost as long as I've had this blog.   I'm just done until I can find some way around this issue, and my good graces are worn thin.

What's the big deal?   For one thing,  I can't print this stuff -- it's false, and it wastes the time and good faith of my readers.  My own time is pretty precious to me, too (massive understatement). One really in-depth post can take a few weeks of nap times and daddy-outings to create, which is why they aren't super frequent.  Creating them means I'm not doing something else (like sewing bunnies, gathering dyeing supplies, or using that precious alone time to write other things, things that will actually end up being posted).  Please don't get me wrong, I love writing this blog, and am so grateful for this space.  I love making new online friends, talking to the people who most inspire me, and writing about some of my favorite subjects.  It truly is a labor of love.  But let's be honest - that time is coming from somewhere.  I am just not willing to spend it on something untrue and unfair.

I'm feeling pretty frustrated. I'd already stopped sharing a lot of personal bits after someone claimed to be V-June's aunt on the Facebook page of another website last year. creepy. and I haven't shared that much of my children anyway, right?  I dealt with it by promptly going through and deleting my children's complete names from all my posts (along with their name stories).  me, the writer of a name blog.  I know this kind of thing can't be prevented, and I have to decide whether or not to let these people influence my decisions (it sure gives them some power, huh?), but for now I need to step back and gear down. 

I will be posting my final consultation next week. The mother of the family runs a public blog with a history (so I'm sure she's real.)  Please come gather one last time to help name some babies. Yes, plural. They're twins!  If you are a pretty public figure with a blog or something that shows who you are, I may come off consultation-sabbatical for you, too.  

I want to say that many of the people I admire, I admire because they are unwaveringly forthright - generous in sharing their earnestness, even if it's potentially embarrassing; willing to expose their own foibles and struggles; and ever-willing to be vulnerable and generous at the risk of being taken advantage of.   I, too, am trying daily to be open and vulnerable.  I don't want to care if I embarrass myself by enthusiastically expressing my admiration, gratitude, and love to the people who touch my life in large and small ways.  And I want to be totally unfazed (and even compassionate) when someone sees my open door and happy generosity as opportunity for exploitation. But sometimes those opportunists make it pretty difficult to keep going with something. And at this point in my life, with such little sleep and two small children who require so much of my time and enthusiasm, I want to save the fruits of my thoughtful brainstorming for the people who most deserve them.

I'm sorry (and thank you) to all of you who have sought me out for help and to those who would in the future. Congratulations to you all on experiencing the wonder of pregnancy, birth, adoption, parenting and watching those little sibling bonds bloom! I hope my archives will be of some inspiration to you. 

Thank you, readers, for reading this. Speaking of "whoppers", right? 

And, what the heck? From today's post:

Daffodil

Crocus (love this on a boy)

Bee

Azalea 

Ask - Sarah Buttenwieser

Sarah Buttenwieser is a mom to four, political activist and writer  (not to mention a master baby namer, you guys.)


Sarah authors blog, Standing in the Shadows at The Valley Advocate; contributes to a parenting blog from The New York Times; writes for The Huffington Post, Momfilter, Babble, Bamboo magazine, and Brainchild magazine. She contributed to books, The Maternal is Political: Women Writers at the Intersection of Motherhood and Social Change, and Welcome to my World: Working Moms vs Stay-At-Home-Moms.

Sarah's writing is smart, honest and informative, though you'll never find Sarah boasting about her own intellectual leaps. She'd rather help you make your own, even if it means making herself a bit vulnerable by sharing her personal struggles. She shows a real trusts for her readers (both in what she says and what she doesn't) that is just really beautiful and makes reading her articles such a joy. 


It really pleases my soul to know that the same thoughtfulness and insightfulness that goes into her writing is guiding four beautiful children through the magic of childhood and on into world-sculpting adulthood. 

So, here's Sarah!

-- Anything you can share about your writing process? How do you

 work through ideas; are you super organized about it, or is there a ton of stuff constantly floating around your head? 

Sometimes, I do my best thinking about writing after I drop my kids at the bus stop while walking home. Another routine moment to work stuff out about writing is in the dark when I wake up really early. But I really just believe in showing up. That's so much of it for me. What I read, what's happening at home, a photograph I took and like, all that might become fodder (and this week I'm going to write about a friend's photograph I loved). I am less about planning though than working. I do write a lot. 

-- When do you work? Do you ever have the luxury of being uninterrupted? 

Theoretically, there are three days each week when all four of my kids are in school. Last week, though, there was one. Add two sick kids, but on two different days and a professional development day. This week, again, the tally is one. I love when I can just dive into some quiet, but I do sneak away and grab it even if people are about.

-- How does having little ones around affect your writing, both practically and in terms of inspiration? 

I moved from writing fiction to nonfiction when my eldest was a toddler because I realized I was too interested in what was going on around me to want to escape to someone else's world. So, simultaneously, the smalls inspire and tug at my ability to write. 

-- Are you ever writing and parenting at the same time or do you keep them separate? 

This is one piece of multi-tasking I do regularly. 

-- Who are some of your favorite authors of the moment? Any new stuff you're excited about?

I just read--and loved--Katie Rosman's memoir If You Knew Suzy. Like every other mama/writer I am about to read the new parenting and grandparenting memoir by Anne Lamott. My biggest writer (and illustrator) crush, though, at the moment is picture book author and artist Bob Graham. Has Anyone Here Seen William? is in heavy rotation in our house and I am reminded each read through how much I heart Bob Graham. This is about the oft-forgotten fourth child. It's touching and real and sweet--and a little scrappy.

-- What do you think is the most important thing we can do (or not do) to nurture our children's creativity and unique interests? 

Listen when they ramble on about things you never thought you'd be focusing on: and I do mean from construction trucks to lighting design. I believe if they grow up with their interests honored, they keep having more new, compelling passions.

-- What are your children's names? How did you choose them? Any almost names that didn't make the cut? 

Ezekiel, Lucien, Remiel ('Remy') and Saskia. We liked the names, that's the short answer. Ezekiel's contender for a name was Isaiah and then he was born in the caul--the water didn't break--and it's said babies born in the caul have second sight just as it is said of the prophet Ezekiel. Who's gonna mess with that? Lucien means light, and he was born on a bright May afternoon. Remiel is the archangel of compassion and he was born a few months before the Iraq War; we liked so much the idea of spreading compassion. Saskia is a name we loved from before our first was born and she was Rembrandt's wife.

-- any names you love right now?

Gosh so many. I am available to help! A friend just had Lucy Matilda and now I'm totally taken with Matilda.

-- two favorite things in/about your home (other than family/pets)?

My little cubby (I've written about it on the blog). The steps on the front and side porches.

-- The last thing you paid close attention to outside?

We're having a very early burst of warm spring weather and the flowering trees are bursting before the leaves have arrived; it's both pretty and kind of strangely out of kilter.

-- Favorite drink and snack for busy time?  

Pretty much addicted to local apples from August or September until they start to dwindle in variety and diminish in total deliciousness (about now, March). I'm working on other easy snacks, like carrots with peanut butter. Or rice cake with peanut butter. And always, the favorite treat is tart frozen yogurt.

-- You can go anywhere in the world and can leave today, where are you going? 

I have two places I really adore going: London -- we used to live there, friends, favorite streets to wander, Indian food, gardens to admire -- and the gulf coast of Florida -- sand between toes, that ocean breeze.

-- A few of your favorite sites for easy/quick ways to stay plugged into important issues (for busy moms)? 

My Twitter feed is heavily weighted to keep up on reproductive justice issues. 

Progressive Breakfast is a great resource, too for all kinds of issues progressive people care about.

-- Favorite political watchdog groups? 

Here's one group that can keep you up to date on reproductive justice issues.

The National Priorities Project monitors how much the government (our tax dollars) spends on stuff like war. I think this is a site to bookmark and watch closely.

-- any upcoming projects for you that we can keep an eye out for? 

I'm zigging and zagging some around the interwebs. I also started a Tumblr and for whatever reason I am enamored with it (and am trying to use it to report on my other cyber-whereabouts as things get published).

-- Name Game: please help us create a name by answering the following:

1. for the first name, what's a name of a beloved writer:

Katherine

2.  for the middle name, what's a name of a activist/political mover-shaker whom you admire:

 Sanders

My goodness, what a family of names! Sarah, your childrens' names are so lovely and perfectly meaningful - oh, how I love them. Thank you for such a delightful chat and all the inspiration you provide.

(images 1-3 courtesy Momfilter,)

dfm names

Over the last several weeks I've featured seven blogs on Design for Mankind. This week I want to talk about the names associated with them (in order of appearance). 

Blog Oeuvre (pronounced You-ver, Uh-vruh, Ew-vra, or simply Erve. such debate on this!) certainly has a beautiful meaning and sound, if you can get beyond it's role in Hors D'oeuvre.  It's pure genius as a blog title. 

Leslie Williamson's new blog for The New York Times, People Watching, focused first on Charles Bello. I'm fond of both his names right up front for little boys.  And yes, I have a post in the works to talk about all the delightful names throughout Leslie's beautiful book, Handcrafted Modern. 

 Krickelin is a lifestyle blog, which as we learn on Dos Family, documents lots of beautiful moments for one very well-named bunch: Kristin, Jonas, Simon, and Otto.

Tigers to Lilies (found via Jaime) is run by Lili (a florist named Lili!) and is another genius blog title. Of course, it brings names Tiger, Lili and Tigerlily, but reminds me of even more smooshes and double names. You all know how I feel about a Lily smoosh, but here are some yet to be featured here (along with a few that have): Panther-Lily, Daylily, Snowlily, Riverlily, Meadow-Lily, Woodlily, Fire-lily, Starlily, Low-Lily, Morninglily, and Easter-Lily.  (smooshing or hyphenation is up to user, right?)

Floret, run by Erin (found via Amy) is of course so apt for Erin's organic family flower farm and design studio, but might be nice on the human variety, too. It calls Flora to mind, as well.

After Tokyo DIY Gardening fills me with dreams of growing a garden on my roof and walls, it renders my mind completely captive to Japanese plant names. Some of my favorites for today: Niwa (garden), Misaki (beautiful bloom), Yuri (lily), Reika (lovely petal), Ruka (blue flower), and of course, the very straight forward and English Garden.

Fox Fodder Farm. Oh Brooklyn, you're at it again with awesomeness. Fox is an increasingly popular name for people, and this is just such a fantastic name for a floral design business! (photo by Rory Gunderson)

Oeuvre

Charles

Bello

Kristin

Jonas 

Simon

Otto


Tiger


Lili 


Tigerlily


Panther-Lily


 Daylily


Snowlily


Riverlily


Meadow-Lily


Woodlily


Fire-lily


Starlily


Low-Lily


Morninglily 


 Easter-Lily


Floret


Flora


Niwa


Misaki


Yuri


Reika


Ruka


Garden


Fox

(images: one by Oeuvre, two by Leslie Williamson, three by Krickelin, four courtesy Lili, five courtesy Erin of Floret, six courtesy Tokyo DIY Gardening, seven by Rory Gunderson - courtesy Fox Fodder Farm and Wilder Quarterly Journal. Each image is property and © of each cited owner. all linked to above.)

Ask - Jennifer Parry Dodge of Ermie

I'm so excited by the previews Jennifer is releasing for her coming Ermie goodies. These prints, my goodness! And the fabrics? Belgian linen lined with silk so pretty I'd be tempted to wear the garments inside out sometimes. Jennifer's also doing some basics in solids this season - hand dyed solids, of course.  

Jennifer's line is one of the most inspiring and exciting around, and I love that she chose to name her line after the woman who supported her creativity throughout her life, her Aunt 'Ermie', Ermengarde Vincencia Cuhel. 

Can we talk about the name, Ermengarde? I really love it, from it's formal version to it's nickname. Ermengarde has variants Irmingard and Irmgard, and has a host of dignitary namesakes. It also calls to mind for me the names Hildegarde, and Ermentrude. These are all such strong names (Hildegard quite literally so).  


I'm also a fan of the names Jennifer has selected for her garments; they really echo so well the aesthetic. You will find the following on Ermie garments (past and present): Solstice, Canyon, Zuma, Topanga, Tigerlily, Fire Season, Mariposa (butterfly, moth), Cloudburst.

Jennifer's blog is a real treasure, too, isn't it?  I always find such interesting things there. This post on the Japanese art of Bokeh comes to mind. 

Let's talk to Jennifer.

--what do you need going on around you to work? 
I’m usually by myself, and I need something to listen to in the background. It’s usually KCRW (local radio station)/ NPR. I really should listen to more music, as NPR starts to repeat it’s stories after a few hours, and can be a bit heavy emotionally.

--two favorite things in/about your home (other than family/pets)?
I like that it’s an older home- a bungalow built in 1923, and that we have quite a bit of land for our neighborhood. I’m especially loving our front yard this year. We landscaped it last year, and it made a huge difference. It’s so lush, and I love that it’s made up of mostly native, drought resistant plants. Lots of succulents, cacti, and sage. The smell of the sage is luscious.

--favorite drink and snack right now for busy time?  

Almond Milk, or almond butter on a brown rice cake, a hard boiled egg or a bit of good charcuterie or cheese.

--you can go anywhere in the world and can leave today, where are you going"
Japan
--what are you doing there?
Experience everything that I possibly can! 
--what must you bring back
I wouldn’t necessarily come back, but if I had to return: locally produced new and vintage textiles, ceramics, Japanese paper, and art, fashion and crafting books. Mina Perhonen, Eatable of Many Orders, Issey Miyake, Tsumori Chisato, and Cosmic Wonder clothing & accessories by the trunk load (I can dream, right?).






--do you know how her Aunt got her lovely name, any anecdotes about it to share"
I don’t unfortunately. I do know that it is German in origin, and Ermen means “Whole” “Universal” –garde means “Enclosure.” We just always called her Aunt Ermie or Erm.

--any names you love right now?

Andrin Paul, who is my new godson. Giangiacomo, the name of my other beloved godson. Tomory- my husband’s name.

I also like my mom’s first name; Judy, and I love her mother’s first name; Lillian. My mother in law’s name; Madeleine is so pretty, and her mother’s name; Jermaine (although we always called her Gigi). My brothers in law have great names: Alexander Leeman Dodge & John Constantine Bentley Dodge. My sister in law, Satoko, also has a beautiful name.

--name game:

1. a favorite fabric or color
Turquoise. Voile.


2. a favorite designer/artist whose name you love

I like how these names appear as written & sound--they are fun to pronounce:

Polly Apfelbaum, Eva Hesse, Sonia Delaunay, Frida Kahlo, Georgia O’Keeffe. Yoko Ono. Vashti Bunyan. Mia Doi Todd. Beatrice Valenzuela. I also love my friend Hadley Holliday’s name!

Such a fantastic list of names, Jennifer! If I had to do a paring with just two from each list, it'd be Beatrice Turquoise. From Jennifer's list of family names,I'd pick pairings Judy Satoko and Tomory Constantine (too many great names there not to play with them!) 


 It was just so much fun chatting with you, Jennifer - thank you for sharing and inspiring! 

Are you guys excited for the release of the new Ermie pieces?  I am so delighted with each season, and I can't wait to see more! Any favorite names here? 






(images: courtesy and © of Jennifer Parry Dodge @ Ermie)

minä perhonen

I really like the Spring/Summer 2012 beauties from  Minä Perhonen.  One of my favorite textiles is the tree print, called Metsä, which is Finnish for "forrest".  Minä means "I", and Perhonen is "butterfly".  The Japanese designer behind the line (Akira Minagawa) chose a Finnish name for his brand because he "sympathized with the lifestyle and the culture of Finland".  


Me too, Akira.  Naturally, I thought this line a good feature amidst my series on Finnish names.


The lovely photos bring us yet more names: photographer, Norio Kidera, and model, Junko Motoyama. The film attached to this season's creations is really pretty, too.  It carries names Hiromi Chinone (hair and makeup), and model, Kiki.  And the music in the film is by group Karluv207, members Kozue and Natsuko. Interestingly appropriate (and likely no accidental selection on Akira's part) is that this Japanese musical duo plays the mandolin and the kantele, the Finnish national instrument and key player in it's Kalevala.  I think both instruments make names as lovely as their music.

Akira

Norio

Junko

Hiromi

Kiki


Kozue


Natsuko


Mandolin


Kantele

Minã

Perhonen

Metsä


With this beautiful mix of Finnish and Japanese names fueling my inspiration, I can't resist making a few combinations with one name from each language:

Kiki Elokuu


Ilta Norio 


Metsä Koemi

Suzu Laulelma (bell. song.)

Hoshi Ommel (star. stitch.)

Halu Umeko (wish. plum blossom.)

Yumi Kertova

Totta Midori (true. green)

Hiromi Mansikka 


Suvi Mandolin


Emi Apila 


Sachi Omena 


Ilo Maemi 


Sumi Perhonen 


Akeno  Kantele 


Sulka Kozue

Don't Finnish and Japanese names seem such natural pairings? Perhaps for some of the same reasons that a Japanese  line inspired so much by the culture of Finland (not to mention a blend of the countries' musical traditions) works so beautifully?

 I don't quite remember the meanings of each one of these names, but I know there are meanings there. It might be fun to look them up post-pairing, a sort of beautiful meaning-grab bag?


Don't forget to come visit me today at Design for Mankind; I'm featuring three pretty blogs from Sweden, Japan, and the U.S. 

(all images courtesy Minä Perhonen by Norio Kidera)

momfilter

I did an interview today with the lovely Jaime Rugh at one of my favorite sites, Momfilter. 

Thank you, Jaime and Momfilter; this was such a fun chat!


(image: mine)